‘Tis the Season to Give Yourself the Gift of Boundaries
Happy Holidays!
‘Tis the season once more, the time when many of us start to overdo everything as we head into the holidays. We overeat, overspend, over-imbibe, and over-schedule until we’re spinning like a holiday ornament caught in a gust of winter wind. One way we can reduce how much we overdo it this season and dial back our stress levels is by setting up some personal boundaries.
But what exactly are boundaries? What’s the difference between boundaries and rules? The simplest way I can describe it is boundaries are the limits WE set with others. Rules are boundaries set upon US by others. The distinction is recognizing what we let others do to us and how we allow them to treat us. As individuals, we each have our own personal set of boundaries that we develop over time. Like each individual snowflake that falls during a winter storm, no two sets of personal boundaries are exactly the same.
I talk about boundaries more in-depth in the class “Cutting the Ties that Bind.” The goal of the class is to release the negative overlays placed on us by others throughout our lifetime. Through a series of meditations, participants are usually able to identify the kinds of reactions they have to certain triggers. By recognizing their reactions and triggers, they’ll then be able to learn how to change how they react. This can be a very empowering experience because it helps a person recognize their boundaries and how to establish them. It’s an invaluable lesson that reminds us that we can only take responsibility for changing ourselves and cannot be expected to change or be responsible for someone else's behaviors.
So remember, boundaries are NOT RULES and can be flexible depending on the person and/or situation. It’s important to learn what your boundaries are and how you respond to triggers. Boundaries can be:
Learning to say “No” to social engagements to prevent over-scheduling
Developing a budget to prevent overspending
Learning to change the subject skillfully to prevent arguments, especially if it’s about politics or religion.
Commenting on hurtful behavior/statements
Walking away from uncomfortable situations
Managing time with your clients so people don’t go over the scheduled time.
So, what are your boundaries? Are your boundaries strong? Weak? Non-existent? Are there certain people that know how to “push your buttons”? Remember, learning to set boundaries is not easy. A person can have a whole lifetime of stacking habits, behaviors, rituals, triggers, etc, under their belt without being aware of them. Most people will need help identifying their triggers, how they respond to them, and how to change their reactions or behaviors. So remember, you are not alone! By looking for guidance, it shows your willingness to address your own strengths and find help to improve your weaker areas. By seeking help, you are continuing to improve upon yourself and take the next step in your life’s journey.
I can’t help but share with you how much of a success the most recent Cutting the Ties that Bind class was. By the end of our session, the attendees were feeling so empowered to take control of their own lives that I felt a wave of relief from seeing them so eager to use their newfound knowledge. It makes all the difference to me when I know my clients are learning and growing as individuals, especially when they understand how to create healthy boundaries that will lead to healthier relationships, improved self-esteem, and overall well-being.
So, I encourage you to make a commitment to yourself. Commit to learning what you could be OVER doing, and join us in January for another Cutting the Ties that Bind class. Give yourself the gift of self-improvement this holiday season!
Visit the courses page on our website for the full list of 2024 Winter and Spring classes.
Cindy Parsons,
RN, BSN, MS-HCA, SEM
To your journey,
Cindy Parsons, RN, BSN, MS-HCA, SEM
Holistic Nurse
Energy Medicine Practitioner
Instructor—Energy Medicine Specialists
(Read more about Cindy here).